My father is moving home tomorrow morning. I am pondering what 'home' really means. In my father's case, it is where he was born, and where his mother lives. A brother and a son are there. If you call a whole state home, then his sister lives there too. Include neighboring states, and he gets a daughter and two grandkids.
The 'home' that he is leaving is very un-homey apartment that he has no attachment to that happens to be less than a mile from another daughter and two grandkids. While the apartment was only occupied by him for about a year, it is in a county he has resided in for more than half his life.
Without the old, "Home is where the heart is," what is it really? My father is not going to live in the same house he was born in, just the same town, so is a town your home? And if you have spent most of your life in a town you weren't born in, which one wins the title?
When I was away at college, I went home to my dorm room after class, but home to San Diego for Christmas. To get technical about it, my mother lived in a suburb of San Diego, but I never told my college friends I would be going home to sunny La Mesa for the holidays. And how could I be at home where my mother lives in California, when my mother's home is states away in Utah where her mother lived?
Half of the things from my fathers old home are now at my home - things he kept there for my kids who visited at least once a week since we lived down the street. His new home is 2000 miles away; he won't need those things anymore.
Is home the building? The stuff in it? Is it the town, or the state, or the people who live with you or nearby? If you were born in Seattle, were raised in Kansas, your parents live in Texas, and you live in Detroit with your spouse and kids, how do you get home?
November 30, 2011
November 28, 2011
Happy Homemaker Monday
The weather in my neck of the woods:
A little cloudy. Boring mild southern California weather. There are no seasons here.
Things that make me happy:
Book I'm reading:
The Gallery of Regrettable Food
What's on my TV today:
On the menu for dinner:
Slow Cooker Beef Stew
On my To Do List:
Slow Cooker Beef Stew
On my To Do List:
New Recipe I tried or want to try soon:
Slow Cooker Breakfast Casserole (notice the slow cooker trend?)
In the craft basket:
Looking forward to this week:
A quiet week before CHRISTMASTIME
Tips and Tricks:
Kid's de-tangling spray works for grownups too.
My favorite blog post this week:
The Bleat
Blog Hopping (a new discovered blog you would like to share with the readers):
The Deadmalls blog. I'm fascinated by this subject and I don't know why!
No words needed (favorite photo or picture, yours or others you want to share):
Lesson learned the past few days:
Not to just tell my husband, "Don't park there." I must tell him why. "Please do not park in that overgrown and muddy vacant lot because in the five minutes I am gone, I'm sure you will manage to do something wrong to the car."
On my mind:
Dad is moving across the country this week.
November 25, 2011
Backer Friday
So, I’m not thinking about Black Friday today. I am thinking about Backer Friday. When you give yourself a deadline, you surprisingly get a lot of stuff done. For years I’ve been writing. I can’t get rid of my old computer because it contains thousands of pages of my writing. “Someday” I will publish it. Well, “someday” finally came.
I started a project with Kickstarter.com, which is a fundraising website for artistic causes. You get a certain number of days (I chose 30) to get people to pledge money for your project. You also have to set a goal for how much money you need to raise. If your goal is reached by the deadline, you get the money. If you don’t reach the goal, any backers who pledged don’t get charged. And as a backer, you are entitled to rewards depending on how much you pledge. For example, if you pledge a dollar for my project, I will send a thank you tweet. Pledge $15 and you get an autographed copy of the book. Check it out here and see the special reward you get for a $36 pledge!
I started a project with Kickstarter.com, which is a fundraising website for artistic causes. You get a certain number of days (I chose 30) to get people to pledge money for your project. You also have to set a goal for how much money you need to raise. If your goal is reached by the deadline, you get the money. If you don’t reach the goal, any backers who pledged don’t get charged. And as a backer, you are entitled to rewards depending on how much you pledge. For example, if you pledge a dollar for my project, I will send a thank you tweet. Pledge $15 and you get an autographed copy of the book. Check it out here and see the special reward you get for a $36 pledge!
I would like to thank Roseann McPhaul for being my largest backer to date (she’s also my mom). She pledged $300. For that amount, she gets a thank you tweet, a copy of the book, and I will include her artwork in one of the short stories. I’m not sure she paid much attention to the rewards when she chose an amount to pledge because I’ve never known her to be much of an artist. But she draws good sheep, so I guess I will just have to write a story about sheep so that her artwork doesn’t seem out of place.
Today, think about pledging a dollar (or more) to an artistic cause. If reading my book isn’t your thing, there are plenty of other interesting projects on Kickstarter. Without your help, these creative people may not ever get a chance to share their art.
November 21, 2011
Let's Tighten Our Belts
We all know the holidays are approaching. I've been pummeled by advertisements for Black Friday deals. A flatscreet TV for only $499! Well, excuse me for being a killjoy, but who can honestly afford $499 for anything? If I had $499 I could think of 499 better things to do with it besides buy a television.
I am troubled lately by a feeling of extreme inadequacy. My husband works all day. I'm on unemployment and searching (and searching, and searching) for a job. In the mean time, I'm hustling. A few dollars here, a few dollars there, for random tasks for people. We are bringing in as much money as we possibly can, but its still not enough. So we need to cut back.
I need your help. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook, but I don't know where else to cut. We don't eat out. No Starbucks. I pay about $10 a month for phone service. All of my clothes are hand-me-downs from my mother. I don't wear make-up, and I cut my own hair. My mani-pedi consists of my husband clipping my nails before bed. My husband rides the bus to work. We drink tap water.
Please share some suggestions. I have stretched my dollars as far as I can. Anyone feel the same? What are you doing to get by?
I am troubled lately by a feeling of extreme inadequacy. My husband works all day. I'm on unemployment and searching (and searching, and searching) for a job. In the mean time, I'm hustling. A few dollars here, a few dollars there, for random tasks for people. We are bringing in as much money as we possibly can, but its still not enough. So we need to cut back.
I need your help. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook, but I don't know where else to cut. We don't eat out. No Starbucks. I pay about $10 a month for phone service. All of my clothes are hand-me-downs from my mother. I don't wear make-up, and I cut my own hair. My mani-pedi consists of my husband clipping my nails before bed. My husband rides the bus to work. We drink tap water.
Please share some suggestions. I have stretched my dollars as far as I can. Anyone feel the same? What are you doing to get by?
November 18, 2011
A New Project
If someone has a blog, its probably obvious that they enjoy writing. So it should come as no surprise that I am publishing a book. What is a surprise is that I am going to follow through with this.
I recently came to the realization that if you want to do something in life, you have to do it. Seems logical, right? Well, the only thing that keeps me from being embarrassed about not knowing this is that I strongly suspect that I'm not the only one who didn't know. A relatively small number of people in this country have clued in to it. Take your local nail salon for instance. I think that I could run a good nail salon (I wouldn't be doing the work, of course, I would just run things.) I would hire certain people, and decorate a certain way, and treat my customers a certain way. I would be successful. But guess what. I do not own a successful nail salon because I did not purchase a nail salon to run. The people who run them are the ones that did the work. They had the desire, they raised the money, they bought the equipment, they rented the space, and they assumed the risk. And a lot of nail salon owners did all that with a very weak command of the English language. What do they have that I don't? They got off their butts and did it, that's what.
So, I am officially off my butt. Over the years I have written thousands of pages material, from short stories, to diary entries, to scathing letters to the editor. Because I'm going to be a writer some day. Well its been years and I am not famous yet because all those pages are locked away on my flash drive, and nobody except me has ever read them. So now I am in the process of picking some material from my archives and writing some new stuff. I am going to publish a collection of short stories in paperback form; meant to be kept in your purse or back pocket to pass the time while waiting for something. I am not thinking about doing this. I am doing it. I am compiling the material. I am raising funds. I am researching publishing companies and the legal aspects of everything. I anticipate a finished product by February. It will be done.
All those people who succeed don't do it all by themselves though. Everyone needs a helping hand. Please visit my project page at http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/beefykeen/mediocrity to see how you can help. Every little bit is appreciated. I will not fail you. Look for my book in February (I really have to do it now or it will be really embarrassing to explain that all the hype was a well intentioned lie.)
November 15, 2011
Buenos Dias?
Well, I chickened out. In my last post I told you I was going to buy a new bathing suit for my trip to Mexico. I just got so busy procrastinating that I didn't have the time. And I had packed my old suit just in case. As it turns out, a new suit would not have helped me anyway.
Mexico was beautiful and relaxing. We stayed in a pretty posh resort with a FANTASTIC pool. On the first day we went for a dip in the morning, and somehow didn't manage to get out of the pool until it got dark. The swim up bar probably contributed to our lengthy stay. So with perfect weather, a beautiful pool, and attentive resort staff, what could I complain about?
Digital cameras, that's what (please stay with me while I rationalize). In the old days, you took your camera on vacation, and took pictures of beautiful and interesting things, or yourself next to those things. You hoped that the pictures came out. You enjoyed your trip, and then when you got home you sent the film in to be developed. Then you got to relive the excitement of your vacation when the pictures came back. Sometimes there would be a picture that was bad because the flash didn't go off, or you had your eyes closed and your mouth gaping open, but that was okay. You treasured the memory of your vacation.
Then along comes the digital camera. Now, as you're relaxing at the swim up bar in your five-year-old-pre-last-baby-who-is-now-two-so-there's-no-excuse-for-not-losing-the-baby-weight-yet bathing suit, your friends decide they want a group picture. You get the bartender to snap the photo while you all pose, and then he shows you the picture. Jennifer says she doesn't like it because she was squinting, so Mr. Bartender takes another. Now Cassie doesn't like it because she was hunched over funny. "Mr. Bartender!" In every photo that is taken, one person doesn't like the way she is posed, but in every single shot you are fat, and there's nothing you can do about it. And with every single shot you are reminded of it.
It is no surprise to me that I'm fat, but I hope I can at least forget about it for a while when I'm on vacation. With these darn digital cameras I see myself immediately and it detracts from my enjoyment of the moment. Maybe I shouldn't be drinking this sweet and delicious pina colada. Instead of steak and lobster tonight, I should just have some boiled carrots. Because I don't deserve to have any fun because I'm fat.
I know its not the camera's fault, but I must admit that I would have had more fun if I hadn't seen my sagging arm fat or my shapeless form. So what am I going to do about it? I don't have a brilliant answer, or an answer that will necessarily work for someone else in my situation. What I will do is start being nice to my body by not cluttering it up with crap. I will feed myself with food that nourishes my body. I will not deprive myself of an occasional treat, and I will understand that "occasional" does not mean every day or every meal. I will report my progress here, even if its bad. And when it is bad, I will not give up. I will admit that I made some bad choices, figure out a better way to handle the situation, and keep on truckin'.
Just Getting By is not about weight loss. It is about getting through life, and balancing all of its demands. One of my biggest and hardest demands to manage is my weight. I have often said that celebrities have it easy when it comes to weight loss. Not that they just magically lose the weight; they have to work just as hard as we do to get results. But in addition to losing weight, I have to get the kids to school, count change so I can buy milk, vacuum and do the laundry, and dig a trench in the backyard when it rains because the HOA doesn't think its important to maintain the drainage system. I may be wrong, but I don't think celebrities do most of those things.
So if you are a regular person, single, a mom, a single mom, a working mom or SAHM, hang in there with me. On the days I don't lose weight, its because I'm busy paying the mortgage. You know what things distract or prevent you from doing what is best for yourself. Please share your challenges with me, and I will do the same. Let's learn from and support each other. We may not ever be bikini ready, but we can try!
I'm gonna go buy some carrots.
Mexico was beautiful and relaxing. We stayed in a pretty posh resort with a FANTASTIC pool. On the first day we went for a dip in the morning, and somehow didn't manage to get out of the pool until it got dark. The swim up bar probably contributed to our lengthy stay. So with perfect weather, a beautiful pool, and attentive resort staff, what could I complain about?
Digital cameras, that's what (please stay with me while I rationalize). In the old days, you took your camera on vacation, and took pictures of beautiful and interesting things, or yourself next to those things. You hoped that the pictures came out. You enjoyed your trip, and then when you got home you sent the film in to be developed. Then you got to relive the excitement of your vacation when the pictures came back. Sometimes there would be a picture that was bad because the flash didn't go off, or you had your eyes closed and your mouth gaping open, but that was okay. You treasured the memory of your vacation.
Then along comes the digital camera. Now, as you're relaxing at the swim up bar in your five-year-old-pre-last-baby-who-is-now-two-so-there's-no-excuse-for-not-losing-the-baby-weight-yet bathing suit, your friends decide they want a group picture. You get the bartender to snap the photo while you all pose, and then he shows you the picture. Jennifer says she doesn't like it because she was squinting, so Mr. Bartender takes another. Now Cassie doesn't like it because she was hunched over funny. "Mr. Bartender!" In every photo that is taken, one person doesn't like the way she is posed, but in every single shot you are fat, and there's nothing you can do about it. And with every single shot you are reminded of it.
It is no surprise to me that I'm fat, but I hope I can at least forget about it for a while when I'm on vacation. With these darn digital cameras I see myself immediately and it detracts from my enjoyment of the moment. Maybe I shouldn't be drinking this sweet and delicious pina colada. Instead of steak and lobster tonight, I should just have some boiled carrots. Because I don't deserve to have any fun because I'm fat.
I know its not the camera's fault, but I must admit that I would have had more fun if I hadn't seen my sagging arm fat or my shapeless form. So what am I going to do about it? I don't have a brilliant answer, or an answer that will necessarily work for someone else in my situation. What I will do is start being nice to my body by not cluttering it up with crap. I will feed myself with food that nourishes my body. I will not deprive myself of an occasional treat, and I will understand that "occasional" does not mean every day or every meal. I will report my progress here, even if its bad. And when it is bad, I will not give up. I will admit that I made some bad choices, figure out a better way to handle the situation, and keep on truckin'.
Just Getting By is not about weight loss. It is about getting through life, and balancing all of its demands. One of my biggest and hardest demands to manage is my weight. I have often said that celebrities have it easy when it comes to weight loss. Not that they just magically lose the weight; they have to work just as hard as we do to get results. But in addition to losing weight, I have to get the kids to school, count change so I can buy milk, vacuum and do the laundry, and dig a trench in the backyard when it rains because the HOA doesn't think its important to maintain the drainage system. I may be wrong, but I don't think celebrities do most of those things.
So if you are a regular person, single, a mom, a single mom, a working mom or SAHM, hang in there with me. On the days I don't lose weight, its because I'm busy paying the mortgage. You know what things distract or prevent you from doing what is best for yourself. Please share your challenges with me, and I will do the same. Let's learn from and support each other. We may not ever be bikini ready, but we can try!
I'm gonna go buy some carrots.
November 11, 2011
Adios!
I'm going to Mexico today. This is a trip that my best friend planned "for the girls". My friend Jen is a take charge kind of person. She asked me a few months ago if I was ready for a Vegas trip. Living in San Diego makes Las Vegas very accessible, too accessible. I hate Vegas. I have been there and done that, and the only reason I continue to go is because its a semi-central place for my three out of state friends and I to meet up. In addition to hating Vegas, I am unemployed and just getting by financially, so when she asked me to go, I reluctantly agreed.
Imagine my surprise when she called me back a couple of days later and told me we were booked for Cabo San Lucas. She wasn't just thinking about it, or running it by me. We had plane tickets, timeshare, and rental car already reserved and paid for. How could I say no?
But since the trip was still months away, I put it on my mind's back burner. I love to procrastinate so I haven't done a thing to prepare myself, with the exception of dig out my passport to make sure I had it. Now I sit here with a list of things I need to get done in the next three hours: finish laundry, pack, put gas in the car, go to the bank, prepare meals and instructions for my husband, etc. Why, you ask, do I sit here blogging instead of getting started on my tasks? Because there is one more thing on the list, and I don't wanna do it! I need a bathing suit. I am digging my heels in like a two year old. No. NO. NOOOO!!
When I am done here, I will put the clothes in the dryer, put some stuff in my suitcase, throw some food in the crock pot, and grab the check I need to take to the bank. On the way to the bank I will stop for gas. After the bank I will have just enough time to sprint into Target, snatch the first non-attention-grabbing suit off the rack, shove some money at the cashier, and pray that not too much cottage cheese will spill out of the bottom of the suit.
When I return from Mexico, please look forward to my post on fitness and weight loss.
Imagine my surprise when she called me back a couple of days later and told me we were booked for Cabo San Lucas. She wasn't just thinking about it, or running it by me. We had plane tickets, timeshare, and rental car already reserved and paid for. How could I say no?
But since the trip was still months away, I put it on my mind's back burner. I love to procrastinate so I haven't done a thing to prepare myself, with the exception of dig out my passport to make sure I had it. Now I sit here with a list of things I need to get done in the next three hours: finish laundry, pack, put gas in the car, go to the bank, prepare meals and instructions for my husband, etc. Why, you ask, do I sit here blogging instead of getting started on my tasks? Because there is one more thing on the list, and I don't wanna do it! I need a bathing suit. I am digging my heels in like a two year old. No. NO. NOOOO!!
When I am done here, I will put the clothes in the dryer, put some stuff in my suitcase, throw some food in the crock pot, and grab the check I need to take to the bank. On the way to the bank I will stop for gas. After the bank I will have just enough time to sprint into Target, snatch the first non-attention-grabbing suit off the rack, shove some money at the cashier, and pray that not too much cottage cheese will spill out of the bottom of the suit.
When I return from Mexico, please look forward to my post on fitness and weight loss.
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